Some Good Old Midwestern Common Sense

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Everybody Fuckin Jump @ Alesso, Coachella (Weekend 1)

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Confetti at Alesso

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When You Were Young - Calvin Harris @ Coachella (Weekend 1)

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Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears, Week 2 Preview


Heading into week 2, these two franchises are in completely different places.

The Bears are coming off of a comeback win on the road against a very good Bengals team. Their offense, by all accounts, looked considerably more competent in the passing game, despite lower run game production. (This is reasonable to me, since they were playing against the Bengals and Geno Atkins). Rookie Kyle Long looks like he deserves to be a starting NFL offensive lineman, which does not bode well for the Vikings, who couldn’t generate much pass rush last week against even backup offensive linemen. Their defensive line didn’t do much in the pass rush game either, but did hold BenJarvus Green-Ellis and the Bengals run game to 63 total yards.

The Vikings are coming off an absolute Medusa of a loss, marred by bad playcalling, inconsistent [huh, wonder if anyone’s tired of using that word when describing our] quarterback play, and terrible linebacker play. Chad Greenway and Erin Henderson were rated as two of the worst in the league at their respective positions last week.  As I predicted, Reggie Bush looked like Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl against us. ALSO as I predicted, Megatron did next to nothing with less than 40 yards receiving and no TDs. So, we can feel good about Chris Cook I guess. Christian Ponder looked a whole lot like another former Vikings QB who donned #7 for us as recently as 2010. Basically, Detroit has always been consistent fodder for the Purple to get two easy, albeit ugly victories every year. When they shred us the way they did on Sunday, I feel it’s natural to have concerns about our team moving forward.

So, onto the prediction: Bears 35, Vikings 20.


Why? Essentially, the Vikings going to Chicago and getting slapped around is a tradition as old as Festivus. If you have been under a rock (maybe doomsday prepping, salute to the movement) for the past 12 years, the Vikings have won at Soldier Field one time since 2001. The one time they won? Some guy named Peterson ran for two bucks and a quarter and three touchdowns and had a 50 yard kick return late in the game to set up a long field goal by Ryan Longwell to win the game as time expired. That’s right, AD had 224/3TD and we BARELY won. So it’s really a foregone conclusion at this point to this Vikings fan.


Well, pretty much just like the Lions did. Why would a team do anything differently than how the Lions played against us last week?  Defensively, we had zero answer for Reggie Bush, and Matt Forte is just as good in receiving situations as Bush, even if he’s not the same explosive athlete Bush is. Brandon Marshall is the best pure possession receiver in the game for my money, and Alshon Jeffery is coming off of a 5 catch game against a better defense in Cincinnati. New Chicago head coach Marc Trestman was hired because he is a supposed passing guru. Our linebacking core is coming off of an extremely lackluster performance last week, and if your linebackers aren’t good in coverage, you should not be playing a Tampa-2 style defense.

It is my amateur opinion that Brandon Marshall is going to kill us over the middle, and I expect a 10 catch, 100 yard game from him with at least 1 TD. Forte will go for 75-100 on the ground (though with the return of Kevin Williams I want to lean towards the former) and 50+ receiving, and will also get in the end zone. I think Martellus Bennett or Alshon Jeffery will also get in the end zone. Jay Cutler will have one of his good games, throw no picks, go something like 21-28 for 270 and 3TDs and we will get to hear the clichés rain down like softball-sized hail on your brand new Kia Forte. “Gunslinger”, “so much confidence in his arm”, “not scared to challenge the defense.” It will be disgusting. The Vikings may have some success on offense, but I believe the Bears will dominate time of possession in order to win this game.

For the Vikings, I again do not expect Adrian Peterson to eclipse the 100 yard mark, but he will score. I also predict that Cordarrelle Patterson will make his NFL debut in the end zone this weekend, returning or receiving. I think Kyle Rudolph may have a rough go this week again, as Lance Briggs is among the best outside 4-3 LBs in the league. Matt Kalil surprisingly had some trouble with Ziggy Ansah last week, and Julius Peppers isn’t going to go any easier on him this week. If Christian doesn’t start making some quicker reads (and PLS STAHP ROLLING OUT LEFT FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE), Mr. Peppers will make all of our game days very sad. I expect him to get to Ponder at least once, and the same for Henry Melton. Oh, and of course be prepared to hear Brian Urlacher’s name about 10 times, as well as hearing about how Peanut Tillman has been stripping Vikings players for the past 10 years.

Sorry for the downer prediction again folks, but I see it clearly! We never win in Chicago! Just enjoy the inevitable shitshow that your Vikings at Chicago game day will be, and SKOL!

Filed under NFL football nfl NFC vikings minnesota chicago bears